Sometime in May I started wondering how I would handle the next really difficult season of life…a deep loss, another death. Would I pass the test or fall back into ugly old habits? I really wanted to understand the formula for tapping into the joy of the Lord in the midst of the storm. Because, if I’m being honest, I’ve never been joyful during the difficult times. I am stoic and strong, sometimes numb, but never joyful in troubled waters…never thankful. My natural response is to dig down deep and bury the pain so I can tap into my own personal strength. But this year things have changed. The Holy Spirit has been changing my heart.

I love the joy that is coursing through me now. However, I know my nature…my core humanity. I’m a realist and an introvert by nature. I know that I can’t be joyful 24/7 until the day I die. No breaks. No sadness. No disappointment. Not possible! I still live in this broken world and as a member of the human race I’m aware that I can’t escape the hard times! It’s very easy to be joyful when life is good and God is blessing. But what about when something horrible happens? If my world turns upside down again, how will I hang onto the joy of the Lord?

My heart’s desire is that I would continue to walk in Christ, with joy, no matter what the circumstance. I don’t want the really big disappointments of life to derail me and cause me to focus on the loss instead of Christ. So I prayed. In May, I honestly didn’t know how I would respond to trial because I didn’t understand the formula for being joyful through adversity.  It’s August now and I understand.

I do not believe that God lit my house on fire to teach me a lesson. However, I whole-heartedly believe that God uses all things in life to strengthen our faith in Him.

Romans 8:28 NIV
[28] And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

All things. In all things God works for the good of those who love Him and have accepted His call to faith and action. God’s purpose is intricate and wholly amazing. Those of us who have accepted Christ are woven into His good purposes. We are part of God’s good plan. Jesus gave me this verse when I was a teenager. This has been “my verse” for so many years! Today it is still my verse! It is even more precious to me today than at any other time in my life because I can clearly see the path that I’ve walked with my Lord and Savior over this past year. He has been lovingly preparing my heart to be able to stand in His strength during this particular storm.

On July 6th our home caught fire. Within minutes the fire department was fighting the blaze, but it was already engulfed.

It was a normal work day, up at 6am and out the door by 7:10. I had been at work for nearly 3 hours when my cell phone rang. I answered it and heard my husband say, “Alice, our house is burning down.” I remember telling TJ that I’d be right there as I was walking to my supervisor’s office to let her know I had to leave because my house was on fire. As I returned to my office to get my purse and car keys, my HR Director was coming to see me. As soon as she saw my face, she knew something bad had happened. She dropped everything and drove me home. I was very thankful for that act of kindness!

As we were driving to my house, three fire trucks drove past us with lights flashing and sirens blaring. I could see the smoke rising in the distance. The fire trucks turned onto my street. It didn’t look good. They had been called by the first responders. Cars were driving slow and being detoured away from our house, which had been barricaded. My friend parked as close as she could, then we got out and walked. I could see the flames shooting up through the roof from a couple blocks away. She walked with me as I looked for TJ. I didn’t know if he was still there or had perhaps been taken away by ambulance. He was home when the fire broke out. I couldn’t remember if I had asked him if he was hurt when we were on the phone together.

TJ had gotten up early with me that morning. He often does, but not always. When I left for work he was sitting in his chair, catching up on the news with his iPad and drinking the coffee I had made. I kissed him goodbye and went to work. At some point he dozed off in his chair. He woke up to the bark of our dog, Lady. She knew there was a fire before it was even inside the house.

Our hot water heater had caught the house on fire. According to the fire investigator, it had been improperly installed…in 1998! It was a gas heater and the vent was installed upside down, causing much of the hot gases to vent inside the wall instead of outdoors. For 17 years the hot exhaust was partially venting into the wall. (When I contemplate this, I clearly see years of God’s protection). That morning the perfect series of events occurred which caught our home on fire. We had been having an unseasonably hot spring/summer so everything was very dry. The hot water heater cycled and vented into the wall as it had been doing for years. The wood inside the wall had been slowly charring over time and like charcoal, it was perfectly prepared to catch fire. The fire started in the wall and gained momentum on the cedar siding before it caught the deck on fire.

When Lady barked, TJ opened his eyes to see a wall of flame on the outside of the dining room window. He immediately tried to put out the fire, but tossing water on it only seemed to infuriate the flames. So he decided to go get his cell phone and call 911. As he came back inside and closed the kitchen door the dining room window busted in, bringing the fire in with it.  TJ told me he saw the blades of the ceiling fan immediately shrivel up and fall onto the dining room table. The dining room and kitchen were engulfed in a moment. He ran down the hall to our bedroom to get his cell and when he came back out he saw that the living room was ablaze. He ran to the front door…he said it felt like he was running past a bonfire. Lady was eagerly waiting for him to open the door! Good dog! As TJ and Lady ran out the front door an off duty fireman was running up our walkway. He had seen the fire and called 911. Then proceeded to run toward our burning house to make sure everyone was out! I have such admiration for the men and women who fight fire. They are selfless.

It took about 20 minutes before TJ’s hands stopped shaking enough to successfully open his contacts and tap my name and number to call me. In the meantime, he watched the fire take the house. He heard the explosion when the barbecue’s propane tank blew. He saw our trees go up in flames. He watched the firemen bravely climb the ladders to fight the fire from above…surrounded by flame and armed with firehose and water. He said it looked like they were fighting back the flames of hell.

I couldn’t find him. My friend had parked her car a couple blocks away and we walked up the street toward my burning home, looking for my husband. I didn’t see Him. I could see the news crew filming the fire. I could see parked cars and fire trucks and bystanders everywhere. I could see firefighters with their powerful hoses causing rivers of water to flow from our home and down the street. I could see my burning home but I couldn’t see TJ.  In that moment it occurred to me that he may have been taken to the hospital for burns or smoke inhalation. Finally, a friendly stranger pointed me in the right direction. TJ was about a block behind me, sitting in a lawn chair provided by a neighbor; holding onto our dog with a leash provided by a neighbor; drinking a bottled water that a neighbor had given him. I had walked right past him on the other side of the street. I went to him. Thank God! He was ok and his immediate needs had been met by neighbors we had never even met before that day.

From day one God has met all of our immediate needs. Before we even knew what we needed, God used people to provide it. Within the hour we were surrounded by family and friends as the news spread. Our kids brought food, water and toiletries when they came. They got our sizes and went to the store and bought a couple changes of clothes and undergarments for us. My daughter even bought makeup for me. The Red Cross gave us some more toiletries and information we would need for the days to come. The fire chief recommended the company we ended up hiring to help us with our contents (that is everything in the house). Our insurance was very responsive and immediately helpful. That night we checked into a hotel paid for by insurance, we showered and changed into clothes provided by our kids. (Clean and cared for). The next day insurance had already wired money to our account so we could purchase clothes and basic needs. (Rebuilding life). And most amazing of all, God had given TJ and I deep peace. Our home was gone. Our things burned or damaged by smoke and water. We had just lost virtually everything we owned and we had peace.

At first I wondered if we were in shock. But that wasn’t it. It was peace. Rest. We understood that we were both in the hands of God. He had protected us all the years we had lived with that poorly installed hot water heater! He protected our family. He protected our friends. We were living with a proverbial time-bomb from the day we bought the house and moved into it. We could clearly see God’s hand of protection at work over the years. And we knew that God would continue to take care of us in the months to come as we rebuild our life. He is working it all out for our good. From the very first day, we have received these good gifts from God. It has been nothing short of miraculous.

Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
[6] Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. [7] And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I intimately understand this verse for the first time in my life. I thought I understood it before. I didn’t.

Sometime in May I started wondering how I would handle the next really difficult season of life. Would I pass the test or fall back into ugly old habits? I didn’t know for sure. So I prayed and asked Jesus all my questions. I wanted to know the formula for remaining joyful during the storm. I wanted to prepare. Do you know what He has taught me? There is no formula! There is only God!  As I keep my eyes on Christ, the very thing that my soul longs to do, He becomes my portion and strength.  Jesus is my joy!  He has held me up through this disaster and I am able to stand because Christ actively lives in me.  He weaves together the circumstances to build my faith and help me trust Him more. Jesus satisfies my soul.  Every time I walk into that house, I leave covered with the ashes of what used to be my home…and yet I still have joy. It’s completely unbelievable…unless you believe in the God of miracles.

Isaiah 55:1-2 NIV
[1] “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. [2] Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.

John 7:37-38 NIV
[37] On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. [38] Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”

If I had been focusing on a formula for joy, I wouldn’t have seen God working through the flames.  I would have only seen the flames.  I have joy because I have fallen in love with Jesus Christ and His love has changed me.